Friday, August 17, 2012

Morals, or lack thereof

Today I had to go to Spokane to have a followup mammogram and ultrasound.  Last year my mammogram was abnormal, and I had to have a needle biopsy done.  So this was a followup to see if the mass had changed at all, and Praise the Lord it had not, so I just need yearly mammograms now.

Now to tackle the morals issue.  We were driving down Division Street in Spokane, and there was a very scantily dressed young "lady" outside her place of business trying to wave down business.  I think it was a coffed place of all things.  She was wearing either a bra or a very skimpy bikini top and a pair of jean shorts that, shall we say, left nothing to the imagination.  She was on the sidewalk waving to everyone and motioning them to come get a "coffee". 

This really made me think about the moral decline of our entire society.  I also thought that the people ogling this young girl needed to think if that was they way they wanted their mom/wife/daughter/girlfriend to be ogled at in the same way by hundreds of people driving by.  I know I don't ever want anyone to see Nicole like that, and Mel would have killed them for it.

It also made me wonder why parents would purchase these kinds of outfits for their daughters to wear.  Here at the school in Odessa the girls wear "booty shorts", slippers, pretty much anything goes.  I remember when I dressed for school (ok I know it was like a million years ago), we dressed conservatively and were taught at HOME to respect our elders and our teachers.  In elementary school the only time we could wear pants was if it was too cold, and then we wore them under our dresses, and once we got to school we were sent to the bathroom to take them off.  For PE we had a pair of shorts to wear under our dresses. 

I also wonder about the choices young ladies make in their bathing suit attire and anything else that reveals a lot of flesh.  Then I go back to the fact that I would not want anyone looking at my daughter the way men look at young ladies in the skimpiest of bathing suits.  I also think men should have the dignity to avert their eyes when they something like this.

Nicole dropped out of dance class this year because of the fact that in one of the dances they were supposed to wear jean shorts, cowboy boots, a white T-shirt and a plaid blouse over the shirt.  When she went to practice her instructor informed her that her shorts were not short enough, and her shirt was not tight enough.  After seeing the video of the recital, I was thankful that Nicole had not wanted to perform in that recital and show her body to everyone in the audience.  During most of the dances the girls were pulling their shorts down, and I think it made them uncomfortable to wear that short of shorts, or they would not have been frantically pulling on their shorts everytime they had a chance.  At the end of one of the dance numbers (the one with the short shorts, cowboy boots and a hoodie, at the end the girls unzippled their hoodies, and on their shirts they had written "I'm sexy and I know it".  One girl painted 2 crosses on her shirt, one over each breast, and I thought why don't these parents step in and have a voice in what these girls are wearing to dance in and to have a voice in the numbers they dance to.

I don't understand why so many people are okay with young girls flaunting their bodies whereever they go.  It has been proven that men focus on the body and what they can SEE visually on women and that women are attracted to men for their kindness/respect and other things like that rather than just "seeing" the kind of body he has.  I think we need to raise up our boys to be respectful and not ogle the bodies of girls who flaunt "what they've got" for the whole world to see, and we also need to teach our girls that modesty is a good thing, and that the way to get positive attention from the opposite sex is not by "flaunting what they've got" for the whole world to see. 

I have a friend who has four sons, and they are very vigilant in what they look at.  They have a code word "Nike" and anyone in the family can say these when they feel they are looking at something that is not modest, and all of them (including mom and dad) avert their eyes.  They are trying to raise Godly men in a world filled with sin, and I admire them for that. 

Mel and I have also taught Nicole that you need to be modest in what you wear, and that modesty is something that God wants us to practice.  Remember Sodom.  Nicole wears a 2-piece bathing suit, but the top has to come down and cover the waist of her bottoms, and she wears a pair of shorts over her bottoms most of the time.  She wears shorts and skirts at the knee or lower, or she wears leggings with anything shorter.  I think we need to raise our children to respect their own bodies, so that when it is time to date they know what limits to put out there and expecting their "dates" to respect their limitations as much as they do. 

My goal in raising my children is first and foremost I want them to be born again Christian's, I want them to know the Word of God and understand it as it applies to daily life.  I want them to care enough about themselves that they don't look for approval in the opposite sex to fulfill what is lacking when it comes to their self-perspective.  I want Daniel and Nicole to know that if they wait upon the Lord, he has already picked out a perfect mate for each of them.  I want them to know that every little piece of yourself you give to others of the opposite sex is one less thing you have to give to the mate God has chosen for them.  I want them to know that no matter how the world judges their appearance that God created them to look exactly they way they look, and there is no shame in anything that God has created.  I don't want them to make the bad choices I made and have had to live with for my entire life.  I want them to be able to talk to me about anything, which I was never able to do with my own parents.  This is why we do scripture memorization, bible teachings and devotionals. 

I tell Nicole all the time that when you first become friends with someone, have common interest, desires and beliefs, that is how a mature relationship starts to grow.  I tell her how Mel and I were friends for about six months before anything romantic happened, and that the best compliment he gave me was that I would not have to worry about physical pressure from him, that he just wanted to be my friend and see where it went after that.  I want Nicole to know that if boys are demanding physical attention from her, that they probably don't have her best interests at heart, and that if she communicates with them her limitations and beliefs, if they continue to pressure her, then they really are not thinking of her best interests or respecting her choices.

I know a lot of people don't agree with my feelings about this issue, but it is something I feel very strongly about and hope to instill these beliefs in my children.  Modesty and protecting your virtue is no laughing matter and should not be something to be ashamed of or coaxed into dropping your guard about.

The most important thing is to commit your lives to Jesus Christ and confess your sins and let Him lead you in the direction you should go, this way you will always make the best choice possible.

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