Saturday Feb. 19, 2011 Renewed

Mel was so incredibly alert today that it was hard to believe that just the night before I had thought we were losing him.  He was awake a great deal of the day.  I gave him his medicines, talked to him, kept his pain under control.  He was even making more urine.  I massaged his arms and legs and exercised them.  It was so nice for him to have his eyes open.  He even seemed to be tracking me with his eyes.  I stopped several times during the day to bend down and whisper to him that I loved him and wanted a kiss.  He even puckered up and returned my kisses.  I was so thrilled.

Andy and Corinne came by to tell me goodbye.  They felt like Mel was doing so much better they could go ahead and go home.  I was so thankful to have had them here.  I felt stronger with people around me.  Deanna came by and we decided since Mel was doing so well she would stay home with her family that night.  She was going to come by in the morning and pick the kids up for church the next morning.  I really didn't want to go leave Mel the next morning, but Nicole was singing with the youth group in church and it was Pastor Hal's final sermon before retiring.  I knew that if Mel could speak he would tell me to go.  We always tried to be there if the kids were doing anything, and over the past couple years of Mel being sick, we had only missed one time that Nicole sang in church. 

I had asked Tiffany to come sit with Mel while I was gone.  I knew she would make sure his pain button was pushed every 10 minutes to keep his pain out of control, and she had spent enough time with me taking care of Mel that she knew when he wanted a drink.  I also knew if he woke up he would recognize Tiffie.  I didn't want him to be scared. 

I even slept in our bedroom that night.  Mel was just so peaceful and really the best he had been for several days.  He wasn't restless and didn't appear to be in pain.  I got up several times to check on him and finally just finished the night on the couch.  I wanted to be near him all the time.

This was another one of our favorite songs.  It was the kind of love we both thought we would never have but found in each other.  We knew how lucky we were to have each other and tried not to take each other for granted.  We didn't have a perfect relationship by any means, but I think we definitely had a very good relationship built on trust, respect and love.  I know that Mel never intentionally hurt me and I certainly tried my best to never intentionally hurt him.  Mel never yelled and only rarely raised his voice.  I was the one with the temper, but over the years God showed me how to temper my words with kindness and love and that you could communicate with not having a motive to win or deal the final blow with hurtful words.  I had gotten to the point that when I did do this I was truly sorry and asked for forgiveness.  I don't remember us ever being angry with each other for more than a few hours.  I can honestly say that even if there was conflict between us, when one of us left or if it was time to go to bed, we still kissed and said "I love you".  I have been blessed.

[Deanna's memories: On Saturday, Mel held his own. His urine output had increased a little. You were so faithful, Patty, never giving up on God's healing. You exercised his arms and legs that day. You told me that Mel had his eyes open during the day for quite a while, and even tried to talk to Diego. Saturday night I came over and Mel seemed to be doing so well that I didn't stay the night.]