Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Today Mel is not talking.  He seems more lethargic, had a hard time getting him to open his eyes.  A man Mel used to work with called and came by.  He was very shocked to see Mel. 

Daniel is very upset.  He wonders why Mel won't talk to him.  He rides around the living room on his scooter.  He wears me out just watching him.  I had mom come and get the kids because the hospice counselor was coming to talk to me, and I didn't want them there for that.

I will also never forget the insensitivity of that woman.  I know 100% that it was me, that I was so insistent that Mel was going to be healed, that I would not hear of anything else.  I wanted everyone who came in our front door to be of a positive mind that God could still heal Mel.  She was about the only who wasn't.  She kept asking me what my plans were.  How she expected that I could answer that on that day is beyond me.  She noticed the for sale sign in our front yard.  She asked me what our plans were if the house sold.  I told her we were moving to Odessa, WA.  She looked at me like I was a total idiot.  She said do you really think Mel is going to be able to do that, and I told her that I was aware of the fact that Mel certainly could not travel in his current state, but when he was well he would be able to go with us.  She wanted to come back to see me.  I informed her if I needed to talk to her I would call her.

Prior to Mel getting this sick my parents and Mel and I had been looking at houses in Pueblo that would be affordable for us.  We had not been able to pay on our mortgage for a few months.  The weaker Mel got, and the more time we had to spend in Denver, the less I was able to work.  Prior to that I had done everything in my power to keep our mortgage paid on time.  We were so proud that through all our hardships of the previous four years with Mel having been laid off and working whatever he could after that and with him taking care of the kids more when he was home so that I could work more that we had been able to keep our house.  It was really difficult for us to decide we simply could not continue to pay our mortgage.  My sister approached my dad about us moving to Odessa.  I told my dad I would talk to Mel but we would not move unless mom and dad did, too.  So it was decided that is what we would all do.  With hindsight being 20/20, I know I never should have made that big of a decision when I did.

Aaron came by again in the evening to sit with Mel until Deanna came.  It gave me a chance to try to get some things done, and the kids and I really enjoyed having him there.  Deanna and I visited a while before I went to bed.  By now we had our routine down.  I would go to bed for a few hours, and she would get me up when Mel woke up or every few hours and if Mel wasn't awake she and I would talk. 

[Deanna's Memories:  I can't remember what night it was, possibly the 15th or 16th, but he woke up and was trying to ask me something. It was like he couldn't find the words. I tried giving him water but that wasn't what he needed. After that he fell in a deep sleep, and he wasn't able to talk anymore to anyone after that, at least to my knowledge. I remember you said you thought he might have had a stroke.
I remember pushing that pain pump to make sure he didn't hurt.
I remember Aaron stopping by and trying the best he could.
I remember Fat Joe climbing all over Mel, just wanting to be close to him, or perhaps wanting to be far away from your cat-hating BFF.
I remember Daniel putting about a thousand miles on the scooter through the living room, lol]

The Fat Joe she is referring to is our fat cat Joey.  once Mel came home he took up residence at the foot of Mel's bed.  Other than eating and going potty, that is where he stayed.  If I didn't let him upstairs, he would stand at the gate at the top of the stairs and cry the most mournful cry he could until I let him come up.  He would hop up and sleep at the bottom of Mel's bed until he other got hungry or had the call of nature.  Deanna does not like any kind of pets.  In fact at one time they had two dogs. she knew their names, but couldn't tell you which one went with which name.  Then she went through a phase of wanting a baby so bad they adopted a toy poodle.  Holly was quickly forgotten as Deanna's house filled up with babies.  Holly now has a new home, where hopefully they remember her name. (Sorry Dee but it's the truth, and I'm really not sorry because you would say the same thing)

"When we consider the blessings of God—the gifts that add beauty and joy to our lives, that enable us to keep going through stretches of boredom and even sufferingfriendship is very near the top."
—Donald W. McCullough, Mastering Personal Growth

True and Lasting Friendship Can Occur Suddenly
1 Samuel 18:1–3

After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn't let him return home. And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself.

I was certainly blessed with friends who kept near me through the worst kind of suffering.

Pastor Hal stopped by to pray for Mel.  Pastor Hal and his wife Sharon are two of the most awesome, beautiful people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  Mel and I were married by Hal, our children were dedicated to the Lord by Hal, Mel surprised me on our 10th anniversary by getting me to the church so that we could renew our vows.  It was so cool.  It was just Mel and I and Nicole, Pastor Hal and Sharon.  Hal made it extra special by including Nicole.  Hal also laid Mel's parents to rest when their time had come.  Mel and I both deeply respect Pastor Hal.  I know that he had a significant impact on Mel's walk with the Lord.  Mel loved to go to Thursday morning bible study that Pastor Hal led.  When he worked nights, he always wanted me to make sure he was up in time to get ready to go to bible study.  That was his "big" day out for the week.  Mel was such a gabber and there was a lady who attended, Marge Reynolds, and every week she baked treats for the bible study.  Every week (after several hours of being gone) Mel would return with tales of who had been there, what they had studied and just talked about, and most importantly what treat Marge had brought.  I used to think there was no way a bible study could last that long.  For women they usually don't because we usually have kids' schedules to contend with and being their for our husbands.  However, since moving to Odessa, I have been blessed to be part of a ladies bible study, and we usually meet for about 3 hours, and I love every minute of it.  They all have blessed me so much.

Proverbs 18:10
The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe. (NLT)
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (KJV)
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (NIV)

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